Jesus be a fence...

Yesterday, Chris and I celebrated our 2 month wedding anniversary. It seems so small a celebration in the shadow of those who have been married for many more years! I know 2 couples who recently celebrated their 50th and 59th wedding anniversaries. It was a low-key celebration. We had leftovers for dinner. Chris watched some ice hockey. I was just doing odds and ends around the house, and thinking about what to write in this blog.

The title for the blog comes from one of my favourite gospel songs. I remember when news about my engagement slowly spread amongst my friends. One of them said to me, pray for your wedding and your marriage. Pray for God to protect you both and your relationship, because Satan does not like two Christians being joined in Holy Matrimony. It means trouble for him. Well, Satan began attacking our marriage before we even got married!

The relationship between my landlady and I was becoming more and more tense. Somehow, I was doing more things that got on her nerves, and vice-versa. I didn't like coming home. In fact, when I was out with Chris I'd try to get home at a time when I know she'd be gone to bed. It didn't always work out that way. And then a couple of weeks before the wedding, an incident of complete misunderstanding happened at church, which has left both myself and Chris extremely hurt. One of my friends often says that Satan is the Prince of the air. That means that at times when we speak, he grabs it, twists it around and passes it on to the other person in a way that will cause tension and upset. I won't go into the details of what happened at our church. It's too upsetting. But let's just say that I pray no one, not matter what church they're in, are ever spoken to the way that Chris and I were. It has left such a deep wound on our hearts and spirits. We entered our marriage hurt and broken people. We still can't even look at the person that hurt us, because the memories just come flooding back and it's too painful.

So I ask...Jesus be a fence...

And like I said in my last blog, it hasn't been easy. We've had our fair share arguments over the past 8 weeks. Sometimes it was everyday! There were times we'll be trying to explain ourselves to each other about how we were feeling and it would be like we were talking different languages. We just couldn't understand each other!

Satan is the Prince of the air...

It is a daily learning process. And I see God trying to weed out of me so many unhealthy habits. I've started listening again online to 'Telling the Truth' with Stuart, Jill and Pete Briscoe. Pete Briscoe was talking about the problems with marriage in one of his podcasts. He said that there are four main problems with marriage:

1. selfishness
2. self-preservation
3. strife
4. separation

Pride is one stubborn weed that God's trying to get out. I don't want to accept when I'm wrong. I don't want to say I'm sorry. I want to preserve my ego and make sure that my needs are met, sometimes at the expense of the happiness of my spouse. Can you see the selfishness?! That has happened in our relationship, and until God gets that weed out, it will continue to happen. But part of killing the root, is accepting that it's there. And I continue to ask God for His grace and mercy. So I pray and cry out...

Jesus be a fence all around me everyday. Jesus I want you to protect me as I travel along the way...This is my prayer Lord ,that I pray each and every day, that you would guide my footsteps lest I stumble and stray...In my hour of weakness, that old enemy tries to steal my soul. But when he comes like a flood to surround me, my God will step in and a standard He'll raise! Oh Lord be a fence all around me everyday!

This cannot be done in my own strength. This marriage cannot survive on our own strength. And so we ask God to draw us closer to Him, so that we can draw closer to each other. And I imagine the strongest fence ever built surrounding myself and Chris and we continue on this journey.

God's Confetti

This blog entry has been a month in the making! It has been so hard, as I've frequently mentioned, not having internet connection! You just feel detached from the world. Especially with my family being overseas, I feel like I'm in the dark with what's happening in their lives.

Well, a lot's happened since I last checked in. I'm now Mrs Julie-Ann Ricketts. Chris and I got married on April 6. It was an amazing day! Even though most of my family and friends couldn't make it for the celebration, I was blessed to have my Mommy and Daddy and my best friend Anika there! It was such a special day. I woke up to see the ground completely covered with snow. The heaviest snowfall we had since that year. It looked like a winter wonderland!

That was photo was taken just after the ceremony when we signed the register.

I wasn't nervous at all about getting married. I think because I had Mommy, Daddy and Anika to worry about, so I was distracted. As well as doing last minute things for the wedding. The moment I got nervous was when I arrived at the church and I realised that it was actually happening. It wasn't the wedding rehearsal - this was it. I felt my legs turn to jelly. I honestly that it was God's hand gently nudging up that aisle, that was not from human strength! I stopped being nervous after the Bible reading and I knew that was God in complete control. The marriage ceremony happened with very few hitches. I didn't cry or worse laugh when saying my vows.

After the wedding ceremony, Chris and I were outside the church taking photos. People wanted to throw confetti at us - no one had any. Then...it began to snow....heavily! It's not supposed to snow in April! And here I had a winter wonderland in the morning and now snow in the afternoon. The weather forecast heavy rain...not a drop fell! One of my family members said that it was God's confetti and He was blessing our marriage! It was such a wonderful way to see it!

We've been married for over a month. And I say to people marriage is a lot of what I expected and a lot more of what I didn't. I'm trying to take the surprises in stride with the help of God. But it's a wonderful journey and I'm so glad that God wanted me to be on this path.

Not much to report otherwise. Just popping my head to say hi! If you want to look at the wedding photos, we have a link to it online: http://www.photobox.co.uk/album/47446990.

Enjoy and God bless

X X X

God is a Miracle Working God

It’s been a while since I’ve checked in and let you know what has been happening. In February Chris and I went to a Preparation for Marriage Course at Waverley Abbey, Farnham – the headquarters for CWR. It was a very emotional weekend, where we faced with issues that we didn’t realise needed to be addressed. But it was worth it, because we have come out stronger because of it and our relationship has definitely benefited. In my life, I have finished writing my thesis. I am now reconstructing my conclusion as my supervisors said that it needed to be more coherent and ‘robust’. That has been almost as painful as writing the thesis itself! But I am proud to say that I have surpassed my 80,000 word limit and still have lots more to write. I have also been doing intervals of editing, but my lead supervisor suggested that I make editing a separate task and concentrate on the conclusion.

I also applied for a job as a clerical assistant at the University of Derby. I didn’t get the post, and even though it wasn’t going to pay me a lot – but it was money that Chris and I both need as we start our married life together. We’ve also been house hunting. That was an exhausting ordeal. We decided to take on the task in a week and booked as many viewings as possible. First miracle: It was the week that Chris’ mom was on half-term so she could come with us to the viewings. The first place that we booked the viewing for, I thought was perfect for us. It was in the middle of town. It was walking distance to the shops, good cycling distance to the station as I would probably have to commute to work. Perfect huh? The place had no windows! Even prisons have windows! The only lighting it had was 2 skylights about 6ft above that we would have to use a stick to open. So that was written off. Disappointed, but I would be more disappointed having to pay rent in a place like that. In the house hunting week, we viewed 10 properties between us. Chris found a house online that he said he fell in love with the moment he looked at the pictures. We were booked in to view it the next day and when we pulled up to it, Chris, I and his parents all fell in love with it. It was a one bedroom detached cottage, with an iron-cast spiral staircase going up to the mezzanine bedroom.

When we left the place to look at the other properties, it was as if we left our hearts there. We both wanted that house, because we could see ourselves living there. Second miracle: no one else booked into the view the house that week. So we decided to put in an application for it. Third miracle: the estate agent who handled our case was wonderful – he really wanted us to have it, so he did everything in his power to ensure that our case was strong enough so that the landlord would think we were worthwhile tenants. Then we had to meet the landlord, who had the final say on whether we lived there or not. The estate agent said to us that the meeting with the landlord would last no more than 10 minutes, because he never knows what to say to the prospective tenants. The meeting lasted about 50 minutes. Why? Fourth miracle: Because they were Christians and they knew people that we knew. It was as if we were talking to friends. We got into talking about family life and what Chris and my future plans were. It was amazing!

On top of it all, this would not have been possible if Chris’ parents had not offered us 6 months rent as our wedding present. In addition to this, the rent was on the lower end of our budget. God knew where He wanted us to live. We had been trying for a couple months now to view houses and nothing would happen. A door always seemed to be slammed in our face. It just never happened. I believe that is one of the ways God was guiding us to this place. As soon as we stepped into it, we felt like it was home. Throughout this journey, I can see God’s handle gently guiding us, nudging us in the right direction. Getting this house was a miracle, because we serve a miracle working God.

Well, we didn’t get the house…

We didn’t get the house that we wanted for Christmas. In fact, we found one that we thought was perfect and were planning to pay down a deposit on it this month. It was a 2 minute walk from my church. It would be opposite my future sister-in-law. We’d have friends within a 3 mile radius. And we knew the lady that used to live in it, she’s a Christian doing missionary work overseas. It seemed too good to be true. And it was because a Polish couple moved into 3 days before Christmas. I was heartbroken. I just sat down and sobbed in church when I found out. God guide us by saying yes, no and wait. This was very vocal ‘no’ from God, as it felt the door was slammed shut on that option. So what? Where do we go from here? We continue along the same route of trusting God to lead us to the place He wants us to be.

There are times when things go wrong, and life isn’t working out the way that I expected (as they are now), that I want to be angry with God. I must admit it, these past few months have shook the foundations of my faith. But I have to remember that these difficult times are not going unnoticed by God. Yes, He is allowing these things to happen to me and Chris. But it is not because He is unloving and uncaring God. I have to remind myself that God is there with His arms outstretched, wanting to hold my hand and take me through this difficult times. Oh, how I wish I could go around it, or that God could just put me in His hands and take me in His hands and lift me over it. But this is not how faith is built, and it is definitely not walking in faith!

I am excited about 2008. It will not end the way that it started. Chris and I will be married and I’ll have my PhD. I pray that God blesses us both with good jobs and a roof over our heads – so we can stop putting items into our ‘invisible house’. I always have great expectations of what the year will bring. I guess I do because of the God that I serve.

When I reflect on 2007, it was a year filled with its disappointments and excitements as with any other year. But what I have noticed is that I have changed. Even though I’m being buffeted by the waves of uncertainty, I have to hold on to the fact that God has a plan and a future for us and He’s not going to leave us to do this on our own.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU THROUGHOUT!