Sweet, sweet Jamaica....

It's been just over two weeks since I've been home and it's been really good being back. In my first week, Mommy cooked all my favourite breakfast meals: ackee and saltfish, johnny cakes, roast breadfruit, calaloo and banana, even mackarel run down.

Coming back home is becoming a bittersweet experience. It's great seeing my family and my friends. But I also see that so many things change, and so many things stay the same. In my first week I was here, what I call the 'accident of the year' happened. See the following link: http://jamaicaobserver.com/news/html/20060624t190000-0500_107728_obs_a_hell_of_a_crash_.asp. A doctoral student and a lawyer died in this gruesome accident. What shook me was the situation of the doctoral student, because I am in a similar situation. Bailey (the doctoral student) had completed his dissertation and was due to defend his thesis in a few months time. He also going to start lecturing in his department in September. There are times when I think given the point I am in my life, that I couldn't die now, because I've come this far, and what would be the point of dying now not achieveing what I'm working so hard for - my PhD.

Probably it's naivete or hopeful thinking that I believe I won't die before completing my PhD and getting the opportunity to use this qualification. But was Bailey thinking the same thing. As he was driving home on Saturday morning, was he making plans for the rest of the day? Was he thinking about his arguments to defend his thesis? I'm sure he was waiting with anticipation to start lecturing in September and get the opportunity to use his qualification. Unfortunately Jamaica has lost a brilliant mind, who will never get the opportunity to share his knowledge. And I'm tempted to question God. How could this happen? Why couldn't you intervene in this horrific accident? But there are things that happen in this world that I will never understand. And it's not for me to question God, though this story really gave me a wake up call on my own mortality. I wish I was as brave as Dennis Seivwright saying that he's ready to die, see: http://www.jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20060630/lead/lead2.html.

I pray that I will live to call myself Dr Pencle. I pray that Mommy who has sacrificed so much for me, will get the opportunity to see me accept my degree. I pray that I will get the opportunity to use my qualifications. Sometimes, I feel that I am in control of my life, and I think I can see that it is going in a logical sequence. Then this curveball is thrown in my life (the accident), to be frank has made me scared of the future. But there's a song that was sung at my Aunt Lorraine's funeral and is often sung at my Church in Jamaica that always encourages me when I feel like this. It goes:

I don't know about tomorrow; I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from its sunshine. For its skies may turn to grey.

I don't worry o'er the future, for I know what Jesus said.

And today I'll walk beside Him, for He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow I don't seem to understand

But I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hand.

There are many things in life that I don't understand, but I know that my future is in the best hands possible - Jesus Christ.

AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

....That's the way my life has been over the past few weeks. It's just been deadlines upon deadlines. Deadlines for handing PhD work. Deadlines for handing in exam marking - that seemed to be the more time consuming activity. In addition to that I was packing to move to Staffordshire which was exhausting, emotionally and physically. But even in the midst of the whirlwind, God was and still is in control.

Chris and I moved most of my stuff to Staffordshire last week Thursday (June 1) and Friday (June 2). We got lost a couple times when we got into and when we were trying to leave Leeds. But we were able to do the whole moving process without arguing. This in itself is a miracle, given that I've been functioning on limited sleep for a while, and I always get stressed out when I move - always. But we prayed before we moved and we handed over the whole situation to God. Carrie Underwood has a song called 'Jesus take the wheel' - and that's exactly what He did.

Friday was the day when it could have really exploded. We were exhausted from moving the day before, and we were aiming to get up early on Friday to move the remainder and be back before rush hour. We got up early as planned, I was going to have a shower - realised there was no water. The water had been shut off for some repairs to the pipes; but it was supposed to be back on before we got up. Chris' mom didn't fill any water buckets, because she said whenever she's done it before nothing ever happens, and she feels as if she's wasting water. So, the one time we needed her forward thinking - didn't happen. I was getting a bit stressed out because things were not going to plan. You'd think I'd learn by know that there's my plans and there's God's - and His is always better. But thanks be to God for Chris' Dad who filled up some watercans the night before (but annoyingly, didn't tell any of us) so at least we could use the toilets. We decided that we'd have a shallow bath and then when we get to Leeds we'd have a proper shower after we finished moving.

But when all this fiasco was happening, my 2nd thought was (the 1st was one of frustration for not having any water) how blessed we are to live in a country that we can get fresh water just by turning a tap. So many countries in the world are not privy to that knowledge. They've never experienced that. And here we were getting frustrated because we couldn't have our cup of tea or coffee, or a shower! Forgive me Lord for grumbling! But the things after all our frustration of things not going to plan, what we were setting out to do was done. We got to Leeds at a good time and we left before rush hour in Leeds - and there wasn't any major hold up anywhere on the road. So, thanks be to God!

On Wednesday, I will be flying home to Jamaica for the summer. So my next entry will more than likely be from there. So much is happening this summer. My sister's having a baby in August. My dad turns 70 in July. So it's a summer for celebrating life and remembering God's blessings.

I'd like to share with you something I read this morning. It was from Colossians and I was really drawn to this verse:

Have the roots [of your being] firmly and deeply planted [in Him.

fixed and founded in Him], being continually built up in Him,

becoming increasingly more confirmed and established in the faith,

just as you were taught, and abounding and overflowing in it

with thanksgiving.

Colossians 2:7 (Amplified Bible)

This is my prayer for myself and for all of my friends.

Amen