Jesus be a fence...

Yesterday, Chris and I celebrated our 2 month wedding anniversary. It seems so small a celebration in the shadow of those who have been married for many more years! I know 2 couples who recently celebrated their 50th and 59th wedding anniversaries. It was a low-key celebration. We had leftovers for dinner. Chris watched some ice hockey. I was just doing odds and ends around the house, and thinking about what to write in this blog.

The title for the blog comes from one of my favourite gospel songs. I remember when news about my engagement slowly spread amongst my friends. One of them said to me, pray for your wedding and your marriage. Pray for God to protect you both and your relationship, because Satan does not like two Christians being joined in Holy Matrimony. It means trouble for him. Well, Satan began attacking our marriage before we even got married!

The relationship between my landlady and I was becoming more and more tense. Somehow, I was doing more things that got on her nerves, and vice-versa. I didn't like coming home. In fact, when I was out with Chris I'd try to get home at a time when I know she'd be gone to bed. It didn't always work out that way. And then a couple of weeks before the wedding, an incident of complete misunderstanding happened at church, which has left both myself and Chris extremely hurt. One of my friends often says that Satan is the Prince of the air. That means that at times when we speak, he grabs it, twists it around and passes it on to the other person in a way that will cause tension and upset. I won't go into the details of what happened at our church. It's too upsetting. But let's just say that I pray no one, not matter what church they're in, are ever spoken to the way that Chris and I were. It has left such a deep wound on our hearts and spirits. We entered our marriage hurt and broken people. We still can't even look at the person that hurt us, because the memories just come flooding back and it's too painful.

So I ask...Jesus be a fence...

And like I said in my last blog, it hasn't been easy. We've had our fair share arguments over the past 8 weeks. Sometimes it was everyday! There were times we'll be trying to explain ourselves to each other about how we were feeling and it would be like we were talking different languages. We just couldn't understand each other!

Satan is the Prince of the air...

It is a daily learning process. And I see God trying to weed out of me so many unhealthy habits. I've started listening again online to 'Telling the Truth' with Stuart, Jill and Pete Briscoe. Pete Briscoe was talking about the problems with marriage in one of his podcasts. He said that there are four main problems with marriage:

1. selfishness
2. self-preservation
3. strife
4. separation

Pride is one stubborn weed that God's trying to get out. I don't want to accept when I'm wrong. I don't want to say I'm sorry. I want to preserve my ego and make sure that my needs are met, sometimes at the expense of the happiness of my spouse. Can you see the selfishness?! That has happened in our relationship, and until God gets that weed out, it will continue to happen. But part of killing the root, is accepting that it's there. And I continue to ask God for His grace and mercy. So I pray and cry out...

Jesus be a fence all around me everyday. Jesus I want you to protect me as I travel along the way...This is my prayer Lord ,that I pray each and every day, that you would guide my footsteps lest I stumble and stray...In my hour of weakness, that old enemy tries to steal my soul. But when he comes like a flood to surround me, my God will step in and a standard He'll raise! Oh Lord be a fence all around me everyday!

This cannot be done in my own strength. This marriage cannot survive on our own strength. And so we ask God to draw us closer to Him, so that we can draw closer to each other. And I imagine the strongest fence ever built surrounding myself and Chris and we continue on this journey.