Update

It is really hard keeping a blog up to date when you don't have internet. I am still adjusting to that and it's been almost a year since I moved to Staffordshire. A lot has happened, as it would in 3 months! So here's a summary of what's been going on so far...

FEBRUARY:
This was one of my worst months in a while. I was at my lowest spiritually and emotionally. I hated doing my PhD. I hated being in a relationship because I felt dissatisfied with it. Everybody's grass looked greener. Mine was withering away in what I felt was an unseasonable drought. All I can remember is weeks of crying, and just feeling empty. I didn't want to go to church. I didn't want to be around any Christians, all in all it left me emotionally exhausted.

Chris kept on saying that it was because of the demands of my degree. The road towards the end of your PhD is often bumpy and lonely and his suggestion was that it was a repercussion of that. I wasn't convinced, but it put a name to part of the problem. It all came to an explosive end when Chris and I had our biggest argument in a while and it looked that we were going to break up. I spoke to God from somewhere inside me. I know that I wasn't promised tomorrow. But if He blessed me with that I wanted Him to show me how to fix what was going on inside me. And He did! Because God answers prayers!

MARCH:
This was a month of growth. God continued to heal me from the battering that I went through the month before. But it was also a month of challenges. First of all, it was the breast cancer scare. I found a lump in my right breast and I my doctor found another in my right and one in my left breast. So 3 lumps...great! She said there was the possibility that it could be breast cancer, so she chose to be safe than sorry and referred me to the Breast Cancer Unit. I could not do any work for the 7 days until my visit. You pray about it and you leave it in God's hands. And then you mentally prepare yourself for the worst. You think about how you have to adjust your life in case you do have this illness. Chris was supportive all the way through and even came with me to the appointment. It was a tedious 2hrs. I had to have an initial check up with the consultant, who said that my lumps could be an indication of cystic fibrosis. Which in a way was good news, because he said that the lumps would be benign, and it would only take a simple operation to get rid of them. By the end of the 2hrs when I went to have an ultrasound to determine the exact size of the lumps - they had shrunk! All that remained was a little lump that was about the size of a pea! The doctor doing the ultrasound said that it was nothing to worry about and that it looked like a bit of fatty tissue. I wanted to tell her that's what is it now, but that wasn't what it was about an hour ago! God is good and He answers prayers. Miracles still happen, because that was a miracle!

APRIL:
April was a month where God continued to amaze me, and I was amazed myself with what was happening in my life. The most exciting thing was that for the first time in 6 years - I danced! It was absolutely amazing! Immanuel has a meeting ever 2 weeks called 'Open to the Spirit' and everyone one of us who was there felt the amazing power of the Holy Spirit. The dance I did was an offering to God for healing my knee, which is what prevented me from dancing for so long. When I used to practice the dance, my knee would just buckle, it had lost all strength. But before I got up there I just felt this power inside me and I danced liked I never danced before for my God! It was also a month of sad news because it was the 15 year anniversary since my brother left our family home and he hasn't been back...not yet! I believe that he will return, because God is faithful to His promises. He promised many years ago that our family would be restored and I know that in His perfect timing, it will happen.

So in a nutshell, with a lot of details left out...if you can imagine it. Listen, God is faithful. He cannot lie to you, He cannot deny Himself. If you trust in Him and accept Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour, He will, through the power of the Holy Spirit, transform you. He will transform your mind and your relationships. He's awesome, and at my lowest point He reached me where Chris couldn't and He pulled me out. See what happens with you...