Troubled Waters

I am continuing my journey in FAITH ALONE a daily devotional based on the writings of Martin Luther. Walking in faith is not easy and it tests your endurance when things do not go according to the way you envisaged. Earlier this month I celebrated my engagement to Chris. His parents even placed an announcement in the local paper, so we got our 5 seconds of fame! We’ve been juggling wedding plans, with Chris looking for jobs and our regular commitments to our church. Chris had two interviews, one before we got engaged and one after. We were so certain that he would have gotten the job for the second interview. We saw how convenient it would be (he wouldn’t have to commute), the pay was reasonable for an entry level position and it would be great timing, as that would be one more thing to cross of the list of things to do. He didn’t get the job and it was such a crushing blow to all of us, Chris, me and his parents. You could almost see the rain cloud hovering over us for the rest of the day. When I spoke to Chris, I just broke down and cried. I tried to comfort myself with words such as ‘if it was God’s will he would have gotten it’; ‘God will supply all our need according to His riches in glory’; ‘I have a plan for you, says the Lord…to give you a hope and a future’. But emotionally I was broken. I screamed out to God ‘What is the plan?!’ ‘What are we supposed to do?!’

Then in my daily devotional a couple days after this happened, this was the title of it ‘WHEN WE FEEL FORGOTTEN’. Yep! That was exactly how I was feeling. Almost that God had forgotten that we’re getting married next year and we really need this job situation sorted out. The commentary was based on the passage when Joseph felt he was forgotten by the cupbearer and he struggled with the temptation of becoming impatient and complaining. Martin Luther says that the times when we feel like this, are the times when we should let the praise of God be on our lips “I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips” (Psalm 34:1). By doing this ‘temptation, sadness and unbelief disappear’. It also at these times when there are troubled waters that Satan loves to go fishing and bring up all those feelings of uncertainty about your faith. Did God really say that He will do this for you? Should really be getting married this soon? Maybe you should postpone the wedding to give Chris some more time to find a job? And you begin to doubt the instructions that God gave you, which is to be persevere in faith and believe in His Word. We know that God gave us April 6 2008 as our wedding date – it’s a date of faith. If we back out of it now, what does that say about our faith? When I was really low, I heard God say to me ‘How much do you trust me? I gave you more than you imagined towards this wedding, will you trust me all the way through?’ And the answer is yes! You never know where you’re going to go when you decide to walk in faith, but you can trust the guide, He’s seen eternity.

I still pray for God to open doors for Chris and help him to find favour when he goes for interviews. He has interview on Oct 1, we’ll see if this is the job God wants for him….

The righteous shall live by their faith

I haven't been in touch for a while because of the pressures of work. I am still in the gruelling task of redrafting my thesis, which has been more time consuming than I could have every had imagined. It's a constant uphill struggle but I am going to get there!

The last time I made an entry, Chris and I were going through a difficult time at church and we were uncertain about our future there. But thanks be to God the situation is a lot better than it was. Relationships have not completely been restored to the way they were, but there has been a dramatic improvement. Personally, my spiritual life has been going through a time where I have to be making leaps of faith in all that I do. Chris lent me a devotion book based on sermons and writings by Martin Luther called 'FAITH ALONE'. It's a simple book. Each day has a scripture verse and a paragraph based on Martin Luther's teaching. But it has transformed the way that I think and especially the way that I perceive God's word and God Himself. I see the Bible so much more as the Word of God. And since God, who in His nature is true and cannot deny Himself, then His word must be true. For instance, Chris is currently looking for a job and it has been hard going with interviews and not getting offered the post. But I know Chris has to be given a job, because he needs one. In the book of Philippians it is said that God will provide all your need according to His riches in glory. Therefore Chris has to get a job!

There are other times when you have to make those steps of faith because you know that is something that God says you should do - so you do it! Chris and I want to get married next year. Neither of us have a job, but we know that this is what God wants of us. We were planning the wedding for months: checking out details for reception venues, florists, wedding favours, cake prices - the whole lot. And we decided that we wanted the wedding in April. So we declared the date in faith April 6 2008. Chris' mom suggested that we postpone it because neither of us had a job, but we weren't happy with that. It didn't seem to be a declaration of faith but accepting defeat. So we continued making our plans with the belief that the righteous shall live by their faith and this is the way that we wanted to live.

Then on September 5, Chris asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes! And we prayed that God would honour our faith....and He did! And this is how...

Today we decided to bite the bullet and tell Chris' parents that we were getting married. I was physically ill thinking about their reaction. They are not usually the most encouraging - like I said it was suggested by his mom that we postpone the wedding until we were financially secure. So with bated breath, we waited for their reaction. Chris' dad just started laughing, and asked are you serious? We nodded yes. And then he just came out with words we never would have expected - CONGRATULATIONS! We gave a shocked response of thank you. Then there were the questions: where, when, where are you going to live, etc. After I gave my well researched answers, he said 'Let's backtrack a second, whose paying for this? How is this being funded?' I felt my stomach turning again and I thought 'Here's the bombshell'. Chris responded honestly ' I don't know. We've just been gathering information'. Then a miracle happened, Chris' dad offered to pay for the entire wedding! I just kept on thinking and praising in my heart, 'God you're good. God you're so good!' My God is a God who honours His word. He cannot lie. He cannot deny Himself. And I wanted a testimony out of this. I wanted our wedding preparations, the ceremony, our lives to be a testimony of God's goodness and that He does supply all that we need according to His riches in glory.

Therefore, the righteous shall live by their faith (Habakkuk 2:4) - it's an exciting path to choose.