The Wilderness...

I can't believe the last time that I posted a blog was in June of this year. I've been going through a very difficult time since I completed my PhD studies. It's been a real struggle to keep up with this blog, mainly because I haven't had the motivation to do it. Even though when I actually write something it's so therapeutic and I wonder why it took me so long.

You know you have this idea of what your life is going to look like. For me, when I finished my PhD I thought that all these doors of opportunities would open and I would go sailing into a well-paid job doing the research that I absolutely love. Hmmm...well it's been over a year since I submitted my thesis. December 2 will be a year since I had my viva and was awarded the title of Dr Julie-Ann Ricketts and nothing's happened yet. I thought it would be at least 2 months of job hunting, because hey, I've got a PhD and everyone should want me to work for them. Why would anyone want this talent go to waste!

I never expected this...this was not a part of the plan! And I went from elation of having completed my degree to crying hysterically and not wanting to wake up in the morning. I applied for job after job after job with no response or rejection letters. I began to wonder if doing my PhD was an absolute waste of money and time. Did I throw away 4 years of my life to sit at home?! Was this all it was supposed to amount to? And I found myself slipping into a world of uncertainty, which I found, and still find scary.

So now, I find myself wondering through the wilderness. God seems so silent at this time. I wish I could have flashing neon arrows in the sky pointing to the way I should go. Hey, I'd even appreciate a booming voice from heaven detailing the next steps I should take. But God's not choosing to speak to me in this way. I hope you'll walk with me as I describe my journey through this wilderness. It gets so lonely sometimes.